Part 2

“People feel happy to the degree we feel in control of our lives – but we give away our happiness by blaming circumstances we cannot control.” Rick Butts

The “Feeling of Control” concept was the centerpiece of my Control – Clarity – Courage triad of points for my keynote speech. The idea about blaming circumstances that are out of our control was aimed at helping people see how we can be the source of our own self-induced stress.

The last month has been a roller coaster for me as I’ve grappled with the maximum loss of control to cancer. Remember the scene where the Coyote in those Road Runner cartoons flings an anvil off a high desert cliff only to realize that the rope uncoiling and following it down is attached to his leg? It’s like that.

So, do I get a pass on this? Do I get to cry and whine my way into total abdication of responsibility for the choices I can still make? I have to tell you – it’s a great big temptation. My daughter Rachael Butts saw me do a total meltdown pity party last week and run down the list of all the stuff I can’t control as a reason for me not dealing with the other stuff I could.

Stages of Change – Thanks Kubler-Ross

Look, I won’t pretend to be an expert at cancer psychology. I’ve spent my life being wildly hospital-phobic and a known chicken-shit about the infirmities of others. After spending nearly 3 years in seminary I got a gig as the pastor of a non-denominational church only to find that while I was a dandy speaker/preacher, I was constitutionally incapable of going to the hospital and seeing folks suffering. I left the ministry for motivational speaking.

Now it’s me in the gown, feeling a little pinch, dragging an IV to the bathroom, and the whole “freedom thing” I’ve cultivated is now shot to hell and my calendar is filled with appointments I dread and I can’t resign this one.

So, I’m going through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, yet the world still turns and Comcast still wants money for the cable. So, my little a-ha on this one is that there is something I can control.

Do The Dishes

I took this divorce recover workshop back in 2003 while I was recovering from divorce so badly, and learned that when your emotions are blown out, you can find the handle on life by doing the simple things. Doing the dishes was my key activity. Make the bed. Do the basics and stop the world as Carlos Castaneda said. Some of the rest will follow and you can carve out a few moment of peace. And, your house starts looking a lot better, too.

That’s all I got. Hope this helps.

Freedom

http://GoalSettingRocket.com

Click here for the Goal Setting Rocket video.

Clarity

In a world of too many choices, we need to boil our lives down to the things that matter most.

Are you are overcommitted to the wrong priorities?

Why is it that we fail to use what works so very well in business, in our personal lives?
When adults fail to pursue their big goals, we go out and create substitutes that lull us into complacency.

Then these preoccupations come to life, like little baby birds, begging for the sustenance of our time, talent, and treasure.

Then the momentum of mediocrity takes us away from our dreams.

This video is part of a series to get you to leave the 95% of people with no written goals, and join the 5% who make their lives happen on purpose, instead of by accident.

Discover the Goal Setting Rocket…

How To Set And Achieve Your Most Important Goals